Not written in a while. Life was a slow-moving car crash for a number of months. It did not work out between C and I. Things went south at work and I asked for her support and it was refused. In an beef between a boss and I she took his side and told me I was lying about something (I was not). I dumped her on the spot. The only time we have spoken is communicating condolences on the death of her father.

I took a job down the road where, for about 3 months, I was phoning it in. On day one I got a lift in. A few miles down the road a colleague got in and we hit it off instantly. Right now it feels like she is my closest friend. I love her completely though I also was at her beautiful wedding to her tremendous partner. As unrequited feelings go it has been lifting rather than crippling, and I feel like I am important to her too.

I still sort of work there. Phoning it in less, but still dour.

Contact with N has been rare and when it has happened it has been damaging. She now thinks I was 'awful'. I don't think I was, but to read that word was devastating.