They own holiday cottages that they can't let out.
It is illegal still and if you want to judge me then fine.
To be honest I am not comfortable with it and not having a great time.

We had a nice walk yesterday of about 14 miles over a couple of hills.
Today N butchered my hair with clippers. Took a massive chunk out of the side.
I look like a mental patient or terminally ill.
Had a run-in with anti-vaxxers in Skipton and a local cunt in Longridge.
I hate rural Lancashire to be honest.

Mum is in hospice and can't see her. I just feel a bit lost to be honest.

April 6
Saw mum yesterday. The illness has taken all her motor skills. Talking is just a hollow rasp.
Her lungs are strong, they say. Whether that is relative or universal I don't know.
She can hear and understand everything. She just can't do a thing about it.
The pain is managed but still present.

April 7
Saw mum again. She basically sleeps all the time now.
Nurses said this is how she'll be. Pain managed but unconscious.

On the train home the person I used to love (mentioned end of March) sat in the seat on the other side of the aisle from me.
She quickly realised her mistake but didn't move to another seat.
Again, I couldn't say hello, I had to respect her not communicating.
I stole a glance and I don't think she is pregnant. Was possibly just wearing bohemian clothes last time.
She stole a glance too but we buried ourselves in our phones.

April 12
Mum died on Friday (9th).
I got to her with my brother just minutes after she passed.
All I could do was kiss her on the forehead and say goodbye.

April 23
Funeral was a few days ago. A mis-spelling on the coffin and
my brother's babymother being a selfish asshole aside it was
a good send-off and a nice turnout considering everything.

I kept it together during my oration (wasn't quite a eulogy).
I quoted Yeats.

Been trying to get out and about and stay active ever since
but living here I feel like I'm going in ever decreasing circles.